I Am An Introvert

Introvert FishI am an introvert. There, I said it. Most people, sometimes even family members or others I know well, don’t see it. They see a fearless person who is avuncular, even loud-mouthed, and a sometimes a clown. They see a person who can stand in front of a room full of people and make a speech without fear. I’m painfully shy but have perfected the art of saying nothing while appearing engaged at every turn. It’s a ruse, but not an intentional one.

They don’t see a person who melts inside at parties and meetings. They don’t see someone who would rather be inside his head than out rubbing shoulders with others. They don’t see a person who prefers a trip to the dentist more than a Christmas party. It’s just me. I don’t see it as a good or bad thing, it is just a thing. My thing. It’s also something many extroverts understand about as well as string theory.

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On Being Your Father’s Father

Father, Jack KoenemanPeople often say that when children get older they become the parents of their parents. Sometimes it’s the slow, inexorable march of age. Sometimes it’s illness or a traumatic event.

I became my mother’s parent very young. She was mentally ill and it fell to me to care for her (and sometimes my mentally ill grandmother and sister’s daughter). It left many scars, and I’d not wish the experience on anyone, but there was some goodness in it. At only six or seven I didn’t even understand that it. She died young and it wasn’t until then that I really understood our relationship.

With my Dad, it was completely different. I knew the exact moment he became my child.

My father was an air traffic controller. He weathered the strange shifts and pressures of his job and an uncontrollable life. He was quick-tempered and aggressively decisive, but also a kind man. Although I had to shoulder an unfair and huge burden I always knew he loved me and that given the ability he would’ve made my life entirely different.

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Sydney Leathers and the Insatiable Need for 15 1/2 Minutes of Fame

Sydney Leathers Video StillSydney Leathers, of Weinergate fame, has fulfilled the modern, insatiable need for 15 1/2 minutes of fame by going the way of celebrity porn.

Wow, who saw that coming?

It’s not that sexting is rare, millions of people engage in it. It’s not that doing porn is anyone’s business other than hers. Even her sugar daddy lifestyle is between her and the foolish men she ate like Snickers (“You’re not you when you’re hungry.”).  It’s not even as if her early claims of Weiner being a hypocritically bad candidate she simply wanted to out soon turned into a “what’s in this for me” orgy. But it is an interesting expression of pop culture.

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