The Wit and Wisdom of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan

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Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan: Perfect Strangers

Yes, they said it. No, it didn’t make any sense. They are the co-winners of the 2012 George W. Bush Communications Award:

  • ”I’ll introduce to you the heavyweight champion of my life.” — Mitt Romney, introducing Ann (He quickly corrected himself, saying ”I didn’t mean weight”)

  • ”We use Ann sparingly right now so that people don’t get tired of her.” — Mitt Romney

  • ”I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.”  — Mitt Romney, who earned $374,000 in speaking fees in one year

  • George Stephanopoulos: ”Is $100,000 middle income?” Mitt Romney: ”No, middle income is $200,000 to $250,000 and less.”

  • ”I saw the young man over there with eggs Benedict, with hollandaise sauce. And I was going to suggest to you that you serve your eggs with hollandaise sauce in hubcaps. Because there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.” — Mitt Romney, after working the room at a restaurant and pausing for a photo with the owner

  • ”I love this state. The trees are the right height.” – Mitt Romney, campaigning in Michigan

  • “None of us have to settle for the best this administration offers, a dull, adventureless journey from one entitlement to the next, a government-planned life, a country where everything is free but us.” – Paul Ryan

  • “I voted to send people to war.” – Paul Ryan, making the case for why his votes in favor of the Iraq War gives his foreign policy credentials 

  • ”I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” — Mitt Romney

  • ”I’m not familiar precisely with what I said, but I’ll stand by what I said, whatever it was.” — Mitt Romney

  • “Were a full generation apart, Governor Romney and I. And, in some ways, were a little different. There are the songs on his iPod, which Ive heard on the campaign bus and on many hotel elevators. He actually urged me to play some of these songs at campaign rallies. I said, I hope its not a deal-breaker Mitt, but my playlist starts with AC/DC, and ends with Zeppelin.” – Paul Ryan

  • ”I’m Wolf Blitzer and yes, that’s my real name.” — Wolf Blitzer at the November 2011 Republican presidential debate. ”I’m Mitt Romney — and yes Wolf, that’s also my first name.” — Mitt Romney, getting his own name wrong (his first name is ”Willard,” and his middle name is ”Mitt”)

  • It all started off with stirring speeches, Greek columns, the thrill of something new. Now all that’s left is a presidency adrift, surviving on slogans that already seem tired, grasping at a moment that has already passed, like a ship trying to sail on yesterdays wind. – Paul Ryan

  • ”Who let the dogs out? Who, who.” — Mitt Romney, during a photo op with a group of African Americans kids at a Martin Luther King Day parade 

  • Mitt Romney: ”My plan will create 23 million new jobs.” Mitt Romney, 45 minutes later: ”Government does not create jobs.”

  • We are looking for bipartisan solutions not partisan rhetoric. – Paul Ryan

  • “Exploiting people’s emotions of fear, envy and anxiety is not hope, it’s not change, it’s partisanship. We don’t need partisanship. We don’t need demagoguery, we need solutions.” – Paul Ryan

  • “Our founders got it right when they wrote in the Declaration of Independence that our rights come from nature and nature’s God, not from government.”  Paul Ryan

  • “That is something that we think we should do in the light of day, through Congress.” – Paul Ryan, offering to provide specific information about the Romney campaign’s tax proposals, but just not until after the electionRomney & Ryan: I love you man.

  • “College graduates should not have to live out their 20s in their childhood bedrooms, staring up at fading Obama posters and wondering when they can move out and get going with life.” – Paul Ryan

  • “What we heard today was not fiscal leadership from our Commander-in-Chief, what we heard today was a political broadside from our Campaigner-in-Chief.” – Paul Ryan

  • ”I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.” —Mitt Romney, making fun of fans wearing plastic ponchos at the Daytona 500

  • “When I was waiting tables, washing dishes, or mowing lawns for money, I never thought of myself as stuck in some station in life. I was on my own path, my own journey, an American journey where I could think for myself, decide for myself, define happiness for myself.” - Paul Ryan

  • “While President Obama shirks his responsibility to advance solutions to our fiscal challenges, he can no longer hide from the merciless math of the balance sheet. Conservatives have made certain of that.” – Paul Ryan

  • Romney, speaking in May 2012 about the auto industry’s comeback: ”I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy. And finally, when that was done, and help was given, the companies got back on their feet. So I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry’s come back.” In 2008: ”If General Motors, Ford and Chrysler get the bailout that their chief executives asked for yesterday, you can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye.”

  • Mitt Romney in 2012: ”I don’t manage the money that I have. In order to make sure that I didn’t have a conflict of interest while I was governor or while I was considering a run for national office, I had a blind trust established.” Mitt Romney in 1994: ”The blind trust is an age-old ruse, if you will, which is to say, you can always tell the blind trust what it can and cannot do. You give a blind trust rules.”

  • Hey, I’m a Catholic deer hunter, I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

  • ”My sons are all adults and they’ve made decisions about their careers and they’ve chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I’d be a great president.” — Mitt Romney in 2007

  • “I call crony capitalism, where you take money from successful small businesses, spend it in Washington on favored industries, on favored individuals, picking winners and losers in the economy, that’s not pro-growth economics. That’s not entrepreneurial economics. That’s not helping small businesses. That’s cronyism, that’s corporate welfare.” – Paul Ryan

  • ”We have a president, who I think is a nice guy, but he spent too much time at Harvard, perhaps.” — Mitt Romney, who has two Harvard degrees

  • “Rand makes the best case for the morality of democratic capitalism.” – Paul Ryan, praising the anti-democratic Ayn Rand, who once said, “Democracy is a totalitarian manifestation; it is not a form of freedom.”

  • “All we have heard from this president and his team are attacks on anyone who dares to point out the obvious. They have no answer to this simple reality: We need to stop spending money we don’t have.” – Paul Ryan

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