Ann Coulter: You Know You’re a Douchebag When…

Ann Coulter: Attention WhoreYou know you’re a douchebag when Michelle Malkin thinks you’re a douchebag. Today’s douchebag is douche recidivist – apologies to douchebags for comparing her to a feminine hygiene appliance – Ann Coulter who described Barack Obama as a, “retard” in a mid-debate tweet Monday. “I highly approve of Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard,” she said.

 “What a stupid, shallow thing to say, Ann,” said Malkin, who is a bit of a douchebag herself sometimes.

There are two things unique about this picture. First, Coulter chose the words, “kind and gentle”, two words missing from her lexicon until now. She usually chooses something like, “communist imbecile”. Still, that’s better than Rush Limbaugh who would’ve used, “communist imbecile manslut”.

Second, Malkin – who sometimes uses similar words – seemed genuinely offended. She must be going all liberal and shit because her complaint put her in league with a gaggle of socialist Hollywood fellow travelers like, Michelle Branch, Marlee Matlin, and Christina Applegate.

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The Candidates Can Go Back to Falling from their Stumps Now

Undecided Joke

The candidates can go back to falling from their stumps. The moderators will start assertiveness training. And, regular programming can begin after these words from our sponsors. All the candidates are lawyering up for the inevitable challenges. Instant polls about truthiness and burning pants are winding down. That’s it. Comedy show’s over. It’s time to lay awake like a kid anticipating Christmas – except the stakes are higher and people will consider moving to Canada based on the outcome. It is not a season to look forward to. In two weeks, it will be Black Tuesday, with an emphasis on the black.

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The Wit and Wisdom of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan

Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan: Perfect Strangers

Yes, they said it. No, it didn’t make any sense. They are the co-winners of the 2012 George W. Bush Communications Award:

  • ”I’ll introduce to you the heavyweight champion of my life.” — Mitt Romney, introducing Ann (He quickly corrected himself, saying ”I didn’t mean weight”)

  • ”We use Ann sparingly right now so that people don’t get tired of her.” — Mitt Romney

  • ”I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.”  — Mitt Romney, who earned $374,000 in speaking fees in one year

  • George Stephanopoulos: ”Is $100,000 middle income?” Mitt Romney: ”No, middle income is $200,000 to $250,000 and less.”

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