Pootiehead Romney Likes the Poop Head Bit

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Pile of Crap

5000 Mittflies Can’t Be Wrong

Using the word “human” and Mitt Romney in the same sentence is such a weird concept that his campaign’s mission is to “humanize” him. When the man is a 1 percenter who brags of joy in firing people, describes corporations as people, and needs an elevator for his cars, it’s a tough order. Not everyone comes to comedy naturally – like Sarah Palin.

Mention the word “funny” in the same sentence as Mitt Romney and you get something wholly different. The man is funny, but not in that sharp-witted Jon Stewart way. No, he’s more of a crazy George Bush smirking, millionaire bumbler, accidentally scary sort of way.

However, Mitten’s sons may have found the trick to humanize him. They’ve revealed his humor is normal and all American. Two funny-assed birds with one hilarious…a human funny guy. This could change the election.

The crew of last election’s Five Brother Bus tour sat down with Conan O’Brien, a funny fellow himself, and revealed Mitt really loves poop jokes – specifically the one featuring a Will Ferrell-Cheri Oteri cheerleader skit on Saturday Night Live.

“Taco! Burrito! ” and then Mitt says, “What’s coming out of your Speedo?”

Even if you’re the stuffy, high nosed Miss Manners type, you have to agree that shite jokes are quintessentially American. No one in the world guffaws at a good old fashioned dog rocket joke than we folks in the land of the free and the home of the infantile. That 9-year old boy at the center of the American psyche just can’t suppress the twittering mirth after someone cracks wise about cutting the cheese.

“Hee, hee. Mitt said poop.”

Until now, mention Romney and “poop” in same sentence and it is probably  someone comparing him to an actual turd,  in much the same way George the Lesser referred to Karl Rove as, “Turd Blossom“.

“AH, HA, HA, HA, HA…oh. good times!”

You have to love the crapulent Mitt for his love of crap. He always said he was a mischievous little dickens. Remember that , “hold the kid down and shave him bald” incident? Mitt himself said it was just hijinks, nothing more. Hijinks just like writing “HE” “LP” on the shoes of a friend gettinig married so “HELP” appeared when he knelt at the altar.

That’s funnier than shit. Bwah, haw, haw!

Now that the boys have bailed Dad out of the Stepford Dad box he was in, he’s all prepped to, “Win One with No. 1 and No. 2”. Just another happy go lucky man of the people, able to laugh at immigration reform and give a sheepish grin when he explains his wife wrote off $77,000 on her “dress-age” horse.

The change will all but clinch the teabag fringed hat wearing, misspelled sign carrying Tea Bagglers and sew up the “Back to Bush” crowd that so ardentally follows him. Every one loves a good giggle. Except…

…those damn no-humor Democrat bums. Come on! These are people who don’t find job loss, firing teachers, or tapping phones one damn bit funny. WTF democrats? Jump on the Five Bothers Express and  laugh a little.

If you don’t, you’ll be forced to cry.

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