It’s not new to obfuscate political motives by coming up with ludicrous names for things. Bush the Lesser was a master of the craft. Seldom have these ideological splinters in the ass of the nation been clear enough to figure out just what in the hell they mean.
Sometimes it’s something hideous, like a war – the “War on Terror” should more correctly have been called “The War of Error”. Our troops and citizens in Iraq were the only ones terrorized in that stupid war.
Legislation doesn’t escape either. I’d wager not many people recognize “Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorists” as the PATROT Act. And political action committees, especially now that they’re allowed to contribute gobs of money with little or no transparency, do their best to play the old bait and switch name game. Thanks Supremes.
A recent list of ludicrous PAC names shows just how goofy the naming can be. For example, three different names not only don’t reveal what they represent but seem to misunderstand that whole space/time continuum thing. Get a load of these:
- “Americans for a Better Tomorrow Today”
- “Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow”
- “Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Yesterday” (This one is particularly thorny since it must defy the laws of physics to happen…not that all PACs don’t do that to one degree or another. For some, science is nothing more than a big lie perpetrated by evil college elites and illegal Kenyans).
Neither the “We Believe in USA” PAC nor the “We Love USA” PAC give a clue as to what they “believe” nor what they propose other than “love” and “belief” – neither of which require money to demonstrate. Furthermore, who in America, aside from the random “Islamoterrorist” (that’s a mouthful too) doesn’t love and believe in their country in some way.
“Americans Wanting Truth in Politics” doesn’t mention whose “truth” they want while the “Citizen’s Alliance for Better Candidates” doesn’t say what should be better or how they managed to let both Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum slip through their presumably expensive “better” filters.
“Americans for More Rhombus”, “Just Drink the Koolaid” [sic, you morans], “Citizens Benighted” (though calling yourself ignorant seems like a questionable money raising tactic), and “The Dump Him Project” are shockingly loony. “Citizens Against the Peripheral Canal and Other Wasteful Projects” suggests there must be a Peripheral Canal to Nowhere someplace. Sarah Palin, being an expert of “nowhere projects”, can clear this one up for us perhaps. You betcha.
It seems there are lots of Shamus Romney supporters too. Mittens comes out on the short end of the rawhide bone with:
- “The DogPac”
- “Dogs Against Romney”
- “I Ride Inside – The Pets Against Romney Committee”
- “Mitt is Mean – The Animal Lovers Against Romney Committee”.
No word yet on whether there is a “Dachshunds Against Undocumented Muslims Eating Dog Meat” PAC, though you’d think it would be a big winner amongst the wieners.
It just makes you want to take the advice of the “Rethink PAC” name, which seems the sanest idea I’ve heard today.
- Stephen Colbert Wants You To Know: That’s Definitely Not His SuperPAC (npr.org)
Colbert Making Supreme Court Look Stupid(newser.com)
- Colbert super PAC stumbles (politico.com)
- In the Gusher of Super PACs, Even One Named ‘The Internet’ (propublica.org)
- How Should Colbert Spend His Super-PAC Cash? (thedailybeast.com)
- Super PAC Donors To Be Disclosed (lezgetreal.com)
- The Return of CREEP (propublica.org)
- New Super PAC backs GOP Senate candidate Connie Mack (miamiherald.com)
- MSNBC: St. Louis Penguin Pecks Pol (stlouis.cbslocal.com)
- Reports to detail post-Super Tuesday campaign cash (wcnc.com)