Sex Wars: Mars + Venus = Division | The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

I’m told I’m a member of the patriarchy. I didn’t run for the job, win a contest, nor do much of anything really. It was enough to be born with patriarchal plumbing. Contrary to much of the commentary at places like I Blame the Patriarchy, I don’t get out of bed, stretch, and say, “I love the smell of sexism in the morning. I’m rarin’ to trod me down some wimmen folk today.”

I haven’t read the club’s newsletter lately and I’ve missed a few lodge meetings, but I don’t think that’s common for many of my club mates either.

No doubt women often get the short end of the stick, but then so do men, African Americans, and Plushies to name a few. It may not be the same stick or eye in which women are poked, but life is sometimes an equal opportunity shit storm and into everyone’s life some of it will fall. Even if unequally distributed.

The Random Yet Benevolent Brotherhood of the Travelling Penis

As much as I am able – given the outlines of my personality, personal beliefs, and a whole host of things that consciously or subconsciously get tossed into the decision making pot – I support women. Really. They are very smart, capable, and just plain nice people – certainly some much more so than me. Yes, I – a member of the Random Yet Benevolent Brotherhood of the Travelling Penis – am pro-woman. I’m sorry if this offends any of you in the matriarchy, but that’s just how I roll.

We are in a particularly polarizing time between the sexes. It is a political year so there is plenty of distasteful, stupid, hurtful stuff to go around…about everything.

For example, a few neanderthal nutbags decided a hearing on reproductive rights would go just dandy without any of those bothersome, emotional women to testify. It was stupid and roundly criticized by women (and men) with more intelligence than your average yam. In fact, pretty much everyone thought it was stupid with the exception of those who set it up. But let’s face it, they are way dumber than that in myriad ways.

Women are pissed. They are being treated unfairly in countless ways and have every reason to be so. But respectfully, could I not be lumped in with those asscakes by the simple virtue that I had X and Y chromosomes selected for me? Unless you believe life begins at conception, in which case it must be all my fault.

I have a pretty thick skin. I have to or it would’ve been completely flayed off years ago. It is a blogger’s occupational hazard, but I accept it without hesitation. I also don’t like to whine (not because I’m male and afraid to share my true feelings or anything), but I’d like to make a point.

The Difference Between Being Male and Being a Stupid Male

If a man does something damaging or there is an evil trend you suspect them to be behind, excoriate them. In all probability they deserve it. But remember, just because a man says or does something doesn’t make it misogyny nor does it mean that all men are secretly behind it with him. There is a difference between being male and being a stupid male.

I don’t pretend in any way that this is a close equivalency to important injustices, but I think it demonstrates the point pretty clearly. Don’t complain that the media, say, creates impossible physical standards for women unless you are equally willing to point out that men are portrayed as addle-brained morons in every TV show, commercial, or talk show while the women are invariably cool, calm, and have their shit together. Worse yet, don’t pretend this doesn’t happen even as you discuss it by using the same portrayals.

“Molly, that Tim Allen is sure a stupid ass, isn’t he?”

“Barb, all men are the same – beer, strippers, and sports are all they ever think about. Ha, ha, ha.”

Change it to this and Bill and Frank will be torn apart.

“Bill, that Lily Allen is sure a stupid ass, isn’t she?”

“Frank, all women are the same – cooking, sewing, and taking care of the kids is all they ever think about. Ha, ha, ha.”

So here’s a plea from across the sexual divide. How about we both try to see things from the others’ point of view? Neither of us can truly understand all the nuances of being something we aren’t and a little slack would be a good thing. How about we don’t lump each other into dissimilar pots? Not all men are evil and deserve anything that’s doled out, regardless of whether they had anything to do with it. Not all women are screeching succubi tracking men down to just to increase their alimony.

Just sayin’.