Threat to America? Communist Muppets Indoctrinate Kids

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Sam the Eagle

AMERICAN EAGLE STRIKES BACK - Muppet Sam the Eagle has single handedly taken on the other Muppet communist scourge. When asked why he turned against his furry friends Eagle said, "I can no longer abide by my fellow Muppets' hate for all America stands for. Besides, John Boehner has offered me a positon on the House Unamerican Muppet Activities committee and I sure want that gig."

In a move strikingly similar to the late Jerry Falwell’s assertion that the Teletubies were gay, Fox Business Network‘s Follow the Money host, Eric Bolling, has uncovered shocking evidence of the main stream media’s radical communist agenda.

Bolling claims Disney’s new Muppet movie creates an anti-business, anti-American climate by naming the movie’s evil villan Tex Richman. Bolling claims Richman is a pastiche of misconceptions about an innocent Texas oil man.

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Beware the Fifth Columnists!

Bolling’s guest, Dan Gainor, of the conservative Media Research Center shared similar views. “It’s amazing how far the left will go just to manipulate your kids, to convince them, give the anti-corporate message,” he said. “They’ve been doing it for decades. Hollywood, the left, the media, they hate the oil industry. “They hate corporate America. And so you’ll see all these movies attacking it, whether it was Cars 2, which was another kids’ movie, the George Clooney movie Syriana, There Will Be Blood, all these movies attacking the oil industry, none of them reminding people what oil means for most people: fuel to light a hospital, heat your home, fuel an ambulance to get you to the hospital if you need that.”

Gainor also blamed the film for igniting the Occupy Wall Street and environmental movements. “You wonder why we’ve got a bunch of Occupy Wall Street people walking around all around the country, they’ve been indoctrinated, literally, for years by this kind of stuff,” Gainor said. “Whether it was Captain Planet or Nickelodeon’s Big Green Help, or The Day After Tomorrow, the Al Gore-influenced movie, all of that is what they’re teaching, is that corporations is bad [sic], the oil industry is bad, and ultimately what they’re telling kids is what they told you in the movie The Matrix: that mankind is a virus on poor old mother Earth.”

Gainor also highlighted the implicit racism of the film, “‘I mean this is a Muppet movie for goodness sakes!  The only thing green on the screen should be Kermit!”

Richman and Teletubby Tinky Winky declined to be interviewed for this story.

This is NOT a parody. Sadly, you can’t make this stuff up.

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