John Boehner, see what happens when you jump in the pigsty and wallow with the biggest, baddest sow around? Mud, as it turns out, sticks.
In the last election, you cozied up to the Teabaggers with a wink, wink, nudge, nudge confidence that the GOP Old Guard could control those over-exuberant pups on a double caffeine tea jag. You won back the House, but now you’re caught by the balls between a cup of Morning Thunder tea and a crate of tea bags.
Tanning Bed Industry Lackey
Even though Boehner is in the pocket of the tanning bed industry, he actually negotiated in reasonably good faith this time, regardless of his heavy-handed blame games. Everyone really was close several times, but jackwads like did their best to upset the apple cart. And boy howdy, they did.
Real compromise is hard to come by. Whether you think government is the root of all evil or Obama is the New Messiah™, compromise must occur or a government can’t function. Period. Uncrook your pinkies and put the cuppa down before you look Teabagglers, we wouldn’t want you to burn yourselves.
Well, maybe no more than you’ve burned your own Majority Leader.
Both sides gave up a lot, especially on things that riled their constituencies like a swarm of angry bees. Boehner probably gave up his political career. Before the ceremonial brewing of the tea, this may have been the closest to bipartisanship as we’ve seen in decades. However, the teabaglettes’ take no prisoners approach to governance allows them to hold the majority of America (and much of the rest of the world) hostage. They’ve taken a page from George the Lesser’s Big Book of Governance and decided on an “our way or the underfunded, crumbling, piss poor excuse for a highway” strategy.
So now, the intransigent little SOBs demand they get their way in the voice of a whining 5-year old. Blow up the entire budget! Shit can anything we don’t like! Amend the Constitution to our liking because, you know, it worked so well with the 18th Amendment!
Be Careful, You May Get What You Asked For
But their biggest article of false faith is the idea that America will continue without a blip because default doesn’t matter. Of course, St. Sarah of Wasilla reads all the papers around, but the rest of you tea snorters should pick up the business pages or consult one of your beleaguered CEOs. THEY’RE worried. The world markets are worried and already adjusting to the surreal prospect that a bunch of tri-corner hatted punks will take control of the World’s Last Remaining Superpower™ (owned and operated by China).
The only bright spot in this whole sordid affair is that the kids get what they want. Then, our famously disengaged electorate will be disturbed from their Dancing With the Stars episode to return the tea swillers to the bottom side of the rock from whence they came.
It couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of folks.
- More on Boehner and the Debt (omnipotentpoobah.com)
- Can Speaker John Boehner Remain In Power If Defeated On Budget Bill? (dekerivers.wordpress.com)
- The Fruits Of Christianism (andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com)
- Boehner’s Grip on Fractured Party Slips Amid Compromise Test (businessweek.com)
- Tea Party Republican Says God Told Him to Oppose Boehner Bill (firedoglake.com)
- Boehner Plan Stalled In The House, Reid Plan Moving Forward In The Senate (outsidethebeltway.com)
- House vote on GOP debt plan delayed (ac360.blogs.cnn.com)
- House Drama: An Angry Boehner Yells To White House ‘Put Something On The Table!’ (mediaite.com)
- Dysfunctional Republicans; Mythical Tea Party (thestrangedeathofliberalamerica.com)
- Eating their own (thehill.com)
- John Boehner’s Debt Ceiling Bill Stalls In House (laurieanichols.wordpress.com)
- John Boehner has to go. – Tea Party Nation (via Gds44?s Blog) (loopyloo305.wordpress.com)
- Boehner still knee-capping for votes on Republican debt plan (dailykos.com)