When You Lay Down With the Pigs You Get Muddy

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Markets React to Debt

3, 2, 1...LAUNCH! - Despite their claims the debt is a myth, astonished Tea Partiers watch as their truth comes in contact with reality

John Boehner, see what happens when you jump in the pigsty and wallow with the biggest, baddest sow around? Mud, as it turns out, sticks.

In the last election, you cozied up to the Teabaggers with a wink, wink, nudge, nudge confidence that the GOP Old Guard could control those over-exuberant pups on a double caffeine tea jag. You won back the House, but now you’re caught by the balls between a cup of Morning Thunder tea and a crate of tea bags.

John Boehner Frustrated

ARRGH! - John Boehner cries in frustration as Tea Party kids break his gavel and put a "kick me" sign on his back

Tanning Bed Industry Lackey
Even though Boehner is in the pocket of the tanning bed industry, he actually negotiated in reasonably good faith this time, regardless of his heavy-handed blame games. Everyone really was close several times, but jackwads like Eric Cantor did their best to upset the apple cart. And boy howdy, they did.

Real compromise is hard to come by. Whether you think government is the root of all evil or Obama is the New Messiah™, compromise must occur or a government can’t function. Period. Uncrook your pinkies and put the cuppa down before you look Teabagglers, we wouldn’t want you to burn yourselves.

Well, maybe no more than you’ve burned your own Majority Leader.

Both sides gave up a lot, especially on things that riled their constituencies like a swarm of angry bees. Boehner probably gave up his political career. Before the ceremonial brewing of the tea, this may have been the closest to bipartisanship as we’ve seen in decades. However, the teabaglettes’ take no prisoners approach to governance allows them to hold the majority of America (and much of the rest of the world) hostage. They’ve taken a page from George the Lesser’s Big Book of Governance and decided on an “our way or the underfunded, crumbling, piss poor excuse for a highway” strategy.

So now, the intransigent little SOBs demand they get their way in the voice of a whining 5-year old. Blow up the entire budget! Shit can anything we don’t like! Amend the Constitution to our liking because, you know, it worked so well with the 18th Amendment!

Be Careful, You May Get What You Asked For
But their biggest article of false faith is the idea that America will continue without a blip because default doesn’t matter. Of course, St. Sarah of Wasilla reads all the papers around, but the rest of you tea snorters should pick up the business pages or consult one of your beleaguered CEOs. THEY’RE worried. The world markets are worried and already adjusting to the surreal prospect that a bunch of tri-corner hatted punks will take control of the World’s Last Remaining Superpower™ (owned and operated by China).

Ask the Icelanders how painless their default was. Check with the Irish, Greeks, and Spaniards on how well their whole default thing is working out for them.

The only bright spot in this whole sordid affair is that the kids get what they want. Then, our famously disengaged electorate will be disturbed from their Dancing With the Stars episode to return the tea swillers to the bottom side of the rock from whence they came.

It couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of folks.

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5 thoughts on “When You Lay Down With the Pigs You Get Muddy

  1. I’m with you. This is one of those times when the whole thing could’ve been avoided if people had shown the same common sense as someone who knows how to balance a checkbook or handle a credit card responsibly.

    With all the budget cuts in education our already not-too-smart electorate will become zombies with homeless brains. Scary.

    • The uneducated masses evidently do NOT balance their checkbooks..look at Joe Walsh, the asshole doesn’t pay his child support..whether the amt is small or huge, he OWES it, yet he quibbles about the amount. Its shameful yet they elected his smarmy ass, and he has the balls to go on tv and spout bullshit ad nauseum about how the govt is so fucked up and only he and his bagger friends know how to fix it. Yeah right..

      I have become a political nihilist. Its a self-protective measure to keep from running through the streets screaming at the top of my lungs, I think.

  2. This entire clusterfuck would be utterly unnecessary, if Republicans werent so dead set against tax increases on the wealthy. After thirty years of tax cuts, they should be grateful if we only raised taxes back to Clinton-era levels (hell, everyone should be grateful). Really, to pay off this mess, we really ought to be raising them to same level that they were during the reign of St. Ronnie. But oh, no, that would damage the economy, (’cause, you know, it’s been doing so well the last few years.)
    We bought it, we need to fucking pay for it, and if we were a person rather than a nation, I cant think of a bank in the world that’d take the answer, “sorry, I cant give more money to pay off my huge debt right now, I’ve got to go buy some luxury goods instead.” (though who knows, Donald Trump seems to get away with it; maybe our million congressmen are simply deluded by their own local networking into thinking the whole world works that way.)
    As Fareed Zakaria points out “the United States, Congress – including Republicans – voted for a budget in which expenditures exceeded tax revenues… The logical consequence of that budget – again, passed by Republicans and Democrats, is that the government has to make up the difference by borrowing.”

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