Married Women Abort for Secret Desire to Make Lesbians Equal

As a former Virginian, I’m all too aware of the asshatery that is Pat Robertson. I once lived a short distance from his colonial palace cum religious law school and occasionally saw some of his on-air “journalists” at the local Farm Fresh. I knew of him when Jim and Tammy Bakker were still producing a kids show starring gospel-spewing puppets (real puppets, not the marionettes that watch CBN). And I’ve followed his frightening career as he prayed away hurricanes and claimed the storms were God’s vengeance on Walt Disney World’s Gay Days.

His latest crusade against the Thundering Herd of Queerosity is a rip-roaring fantasy – aborting babies as a way to “level the playing field” for lesbians. He claims to speak directly with God on the celestial hotline daily, but this is more proof that God really should get a better PR man to service his temporal account.

As with all Robertsonian screeds, he fails in the simple logic his “God” bestowed on humans. Clearly the daily conversations with the Big Kahuna aren’t nearly often enough.

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How’s That Whole Birther Thing Working Out for Ya’?

‘NUFF SAID – You knew it was going to happen.

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Bush War Crimes: What About His Accomplices?

Mohamed ElBaradei, former head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, says in his new memoir that some Bush Administration officials should face an international criminal investigation for their actions in starting Gulf War II.

He makes a strong case based on confirmed information that has come to light since the War of Error began. For example:

Were there really WMD? Why did the Bushies take the word of an informant, already believed by his German handlers to be sketchy, over ElBaradei and other nuke monitors? Why was the war originally about WMD? Then, about non-existent Al Qaeda meanies before morphing into a campaign spreading the wonders of democracy to a country that still can’t govern itself after almost 9 years and counting.

More importantly, why are we still there? If the answer that Bush still clings to was removing a, “homicidal dictator pursuing WMD,” then the question was settled long ago. No WMD and the homicidal dictator is dead. Let’s go pack our bags.

That war, along with the one in Afghanistan, has cost many lives and much national treasure – enough treasure to make them major causes of our current debt crisis. And, they continue to be albatrosses around the nation’s fiscal neck.

Most people have concluded the war was a colossal blunder at best and a war crime, as Elbaradei believes, at worst. What is certain is that the King of Personal Responsibility and his cabal of inept minions have never been held to account for any of their actions and they’re unlikely to.

People don’t talk much about Iraq anymore. If they’re extremely well-informed they might be vaguely aware that bombs still explode and soldiers still die. Most Americans are more worried about who’s going to get bounced from American Idol than how many Americans are still stuck the world’s largest sand traps. America has a giant case of war fatigue. You can only watch just so many car wrecks before they’re no fun anymore. Just ask Dale Earnhardt fans.

We can lay some of that malaise at the feet of Congress and Barak Obama. Nancy Pelosi came into power and immediately took impeachment off the table. Obama campaigned extensively on winding down both Afghanistan and Iraq. However, the end of his term is coming up and we’re still there – in Afghanistan, in fact, more there than when Bush was bumbling along.

We’re still bleeding money from both suck holes while arguing if we can afford schools, roads, and Grandma’s Alzheimer’s meds. We’re still under the dark provisions of the comically named Patriot Act and each day government power grows at a rate second only to America’s corporatocracy.

I didn’t expect Obama’s promises of Hope and Change to be totally true. After all, campaign promises always melt when high-minded rhetoric meets reality. However, I did expect some action, even if no more than token resistance, to counter the smoking hole Dubya bequeathed us.

Instead, there’s no change in trying to reclaim our burgled civil liberties. No progress in getting out of Afghanistan and scarcely more in leaving Iraq. We’re still bleeding money on the disgraceful wars to the detriment of almost everything the government does. But worst of all, there’s no hope any of that will change.

So maybe ElBaradei has a point. Maybe Big Bush and all of his little scrub brush should be hauled up in front of the Interrnational Court. But in the interest of true American justice, Obama, Congress, and any other jackwads who helped this happen should be in their best orange jumpsuits right along with him.

And we should make sure we do it without starting some new war upon ourselves.

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