HAIR RAISING - Models at the International Fantasy Hair Competition in Manchester, NH display the ultimate in Big, Bad, Hair Days. Click photo for more >>

Deviance Unlimited

• You know the story is going to be interesting when the headline contains the words, “Mice in Vaseline“.
• I hear they go really well with a nice sugar baguette.
• Raising the next generation of illegal immigrants…the ones that won’t even live here.
• Um, OUCH!
• All over America, Judy Garland impersonators are having wet dreams.
• Bringing new meaning to the phrase “snow job“.
• Pervert? I suppose it’s all in the name.

From the Land of the Rising Game Show

• Why Japanese game shows are infinitely superior to Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
• The Japanese have always been famous for the multi-tasking efficiency.
• Combining boob shaking with roach poison was a tricky job, but the Japanese proved up to the task.
• Many people questioned the wisdom of spending so much on the Japanese space program.
• The wheeless wheelchair was a stroke of genius. It’s the best invention since…um, the wheel?

Amber Waves of Crime

• Sisqo fell on hard times after everyone forgot Thong Song.
• The name’s Ken, Drunken Ken.

Just another Day on the Intertubes

• If you think your pee is talking to you, the last thing you need is a book explaining what it’s saying.
• Dogs are man’s best friend. It would be nice if you didn’t go out of your way to humiliate them.
• Proving once again that there’s a niche for everyone on the Web.
• Man becomes a “half-gelding” in an operation gone awry. Doc says, “oops“.
• It was a slow day at the office, so Bob and Archie tried to break the boredom.
• Las Vegas casino, MGM Grand, has announced the addition of a new cast member to their hit show, Blue Man Group.
• Prop 8 was only the beginning.
• Study taxidermy and make big bucks out of your garage.
• Reba and Billy Joe Jack Bob’s wedding was a simple testament to their love.
• Maria? Maria, honey. It’s time to let go.

An Infinite Display of Robotic Madness

TATTOO YOU - In a startling development in the Jesse James sex scandal, James has fathered a love child with Bombshell McGee. Click photo for more >>

• OK, this is just creepy.
• According to Sarah Palin, Obamacare doesn’t let people choose their own doctor. Damn commies.
• These Third World countries are really making up for lost time in the race to robot superiority.
• It quickly became clear that Troy just hadn’t reached the level of robot technology to support a Trojan Elephant so they tried the lower tech version, the Trojan Horse.
• Bart Simpson as a Borg.
• Robotically creepy is, as robotically creepy does.
• It was embarrassing for Tony to be beaten at chess by a robot, but even more humiliating to be beaten by a disembodied piece of a robot.

Demonstrating the Difference Between ‘Need’ and ‘Want’

• In a stunning development, anthropologists have discovered the first evidence of “protokaroke” as far back at the 1980s.
• If someone tries to sell you a table that has sagging sumo wrestler tits, run away! Run like the wind!
• (Sung to the tune Sixteen Tons)
  “Seventy-five hundred gamers and what do ya get,
  another day older and deeper in debt.
  St. Peter don’t ya call me ’cause I can’t go
  I owe my soul to the Game-sta-tion storrrrrre“
• Becky played many rolls during her acting career, including the role of Complete Moron No. 3 in the Ron Popiel Anthology.
• Wipe that turd right out of my hair.
• Just three words – farting squirrel commercial. ‘Nuff said.
• Walking on water is no longer the exclusive domain of prophets.
• I suppose keeping your cash in a PB&J makes as much sense as keeping it in your sock.
• If you like this, you’ll love the Raggedy Ann doll made of toe jam and nail clippings.
• After you break the glass, the first thing you’ll need to do is use it to stop the bleeding.
• Kindle a new relationship with the Bible. Get it? Kindle, the ebook reader? Never mind.

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