Monthly Archives: April 2010

Power Politics and the Kabuki Onion


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Shocking Geniuses

SIMPLY SHOCKING - PG&E's Reddy Killowatt doing what he does best - tying the electricity market into knots.

Politics is often like a kabuki onion – you peel off layer after layer only to discover at the end that you’re crying your eyes out and there’s nothing inside but a potato. A proposition on the June California ballot is but the latest tuber.

The Taxpayers Right to Vote Act conjures up visions of  an American flag close by a California Bear flag, both silhouetted against a flawless blue, western sky. There are amber waves of grain soaring palm trees and a newspaper boy riding his bike though a comfortable neighborhood lit by the early morning sun…

Then, a ginormous potato drops from the sky, squashing the paperboy like a bug having a very bad day.

What’s Not to Love?
Prop. 16 is an amendment to the state Constitution requiring a 2/3 majority vote before “local government can spend or borrow public money to enter the retail electricity business.” The amendment is sponsored by Californians to Protect Our Right to Vote.

So what’s the problem with that? Shouldn’t we all want our rights protected? Who’s not for power to the people? Who’s not for holding all those crapulent government officials accountable? How can a public vote not be an integral part of the democracy we all cherish?

Well, perhaps when the carpet-bombing advertising campaign propelling it isn’t paid for with modest donations from Dan and Suzie next door, but by Pacific Gas and Electric one of two major electric utilities in California.

It’s not like PG&E is altruistic. Many California towns are considering localizing power companies after years of some of the highest bills in the nation for some of the poorest, most unreliable service – particularly after the Big California Experiment that deregulated utilities a few years back. You remember. The one where Ken Lay and his Cabal of Crapweasels at Enron gamed the power market they helped design until California had power reliability about 16 levels below your average Third World country and half of them were in jail for fraud.

Reddy Butts

REDDY KILLOWATT SEZ - "Kids, light up a ciggy and join us at the malt shop. Smoking won't hurt you and neither will PG&E."

I’m really not against voting for things. People have a right to be heard and power companies don’t come cheap. Plus, there’s no guarantee local government could pull it off. But on the other hand, Reddy Killowatt hasn’t exactly been a shining example of efficiency either.

California already requires purchases of almost anything larger than a file folder to go on the ballot for approval. And California voters often make poor choices because they’re unclear on the concept of paying for what you vote for. This partially explains why California runs more like Nigeria than an American state with an economy the size of France’s.

OK, So Let’s Vote!
I find it odd that Californians don’t get to vote on PG&E’s frequent rate hikes. They also don’t get to vote on whether to have brown-outs, black-outs, or just plain all-outs. And when PG&E installed Smart Meters – without a vote -  hundreds of consumers suddenly found their power bills going up to the power of 10.

So I have a deal for PG&E and the Californians protecting PG&E’s my vote. You stop spending $25-30 million of the high rates I was forced to pay you to lobby for a prop that primarily benefits you. And, let’s agree on the 1 person, 1 vote principle en vogue in most plebiscites,  instead of requiring 2/3 of the voters to vote again.

You know, my compromises are trivial – like blackouts, crippling power rates, and the two weeks you need to restore power every time there is a light drizzle. I’m sure you can see the fairness of my proposals and if you can see your way clear to protecting my vote in a fair an equal way, we have a deal.

See you in June.

Related articles by Zemanta

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Truth, Truthier, Truthiest: Who’s Spreading Rumors


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
True Lies

WHO IS TRUTHIER? - Does the Snopes survey have the answer? Who are the biggest, least truthful rumor-mongers?

Politicians are fond of saying they figure out how to vote by throwing something against the wall to see what sticks. These days, that something is poop. And the Congressomonkeys throw it not only against the wall, but at each other and us.

It’s impossible to call anyone out for a vicious rumor, a “truthy” statement, or a downright lie these days without the opposing side going apoplectic and calling you a liar, a traitor, or a fascist commie (once again folks, they are polar opposites) without knowing the first damn thing they’re wailing about.

It’s not about being left or right, conservative or liberal – it’s about being willfully ignorant or aggressively dumb. It’s hard to hold the moral high ground while criticizing the opposition as your own lobbyists people spread the same rich manure of untruths. This is not the politics of change, but the entrenchment of stupidity.

It’s Not True Until It’s on Fox News
I personally feel both sides are guilty of this behavior, but that Republicans – particularly those pinkie-raised tea drinkers – have much louder voices, are much less apt to listen to anything from anyone unless its Rupert Murdoch or Sarah Palin, and seem to take as much pride in their anti-intellectualism as they do in their local Rotary’s annual pancake breakfast.

Whenever I broach this touchy subject, I try to acknowledge that both sides are guilty and it isn’t right for either side to say dishonest and hypocritical things. I do this because I strongly believe it’s true, but also as a way to deflect claims that one side or the other is worse right up front.  I almost never have much success. Too many comment threads devolve into pie-flinging matches over whose lie was bigger or whether you believe it’s “true” because Sarah or Keith says it.

For instance, I can predict that right now there are dozens of conservatives sharpening their quills and readying to let loose a flaming barrage of , “you liberal pussies are all alike”. On the left, folks are loading the trebuchet because I’m not being tough enough on the ‘baggers.

Welcome to the role of messenger.

Liar, Liar, PR Release on Fire
So today, lets let someone else address this issue. Before you immediately trash these statistics, remember they’re compiled by about as non-partisan a source as there is these days. Note that both sides have more than their fair share of half-truths and whoppers. And note that all compilations like these are never completely true nor false and are hard as the Dickens to calculate.

Here are the statistics:

According to the rumor verification site Snopes, there were 47 internet rumors about George W. Bush during his eight years in office. Of these, about 43% were true, 36% were false, and the rest were some mix that Stephen Colbert likes to call “truthy”.

By comparison, there have been 87 internet rumors about The Messiah™ during his less than two years in office. Of that number, 9% were found to be true and 68% untrue. The remainder tasted somewhat truthy to Snopes.

Of course, these statistics don’t mean much. I’m sure within the week there’ll be another analysis by someone calling this one a load of bunk. Some of the lazier folks will just claim it’s bunk without the research by saying Fox News told them it’s a constitutional amendment the commies are trying to sneak past everyone. Some, possibly the smartest ones in the crowd, will simply ignore it all because they’ve already given up.

Similarly, this survey means absolutely nothing to stemming the flood of untruths told by both sides. If you’re a lefty, it’s just confirmation of what you thought all along. If you’re a rightie, it’s another panic attack by limp-wristed liberals terrified at the notion that very loud, very angry people are “taking back the gummint”.

Although, I personally believe there’s more than a little truth to that last one, but then I’m on the “winning” side of the survey.

Just sayin’.

Related articles by Zemanta

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Randomness: Danger Will Robinson Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Walking Through Fire

WALKING THROUGH FIRE - OK, I've thought long and hard about this caption and I have to tell you, I got bupkis. Click photo for more >>

Just Because They’re Robots Doesn’t Mean They Can’t Feel

List of Lists

Things That Make You Want to Reconsider the Whole Capitalism Thing

Crap Just Too Weird to Make Up

Poodley Poop

POODLEY POOP - Final proof that some people should never be allowed to have dogs. Click photo for more >>

Japanese Jesters

Related articles

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

OMG, They Want to Kill Kenny!


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Warning: Asshats Ahead

WARNING: ASSCAKES AHEAD - They should consider themselves lucky that South Park didn't depict Mohammed as Mr. Hanky in drag instead of a bear.

Update“Revolution Muslim” Site’s Creator is Jewish

Update May 20 is ‘Everybody Draw Mohammed Day’

There are many things in the world worth fighting for – some even worth dying for – but a cartoon featuring a talking turd isn’t one of them. This may come as a great shock to some, but the cartoon South Park quite often traffics in low-brow humor that aims to be offensive. Apparently, New York-based Revolution Muslim group thinks this is a capital offense.

The show’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, tweaked the Revolting Muslims by depicting the prophet Muhammad as a bear. I’m sure only because the idea of depicting Mr. Hanky wearing a turban didn’t occur to them first.

After Muslim extremists killed Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh in 2004, it became apparent that Islam doesn’t suffer cartoons slights lightly. Just ask author Salman Rushdie who lived in hiding for years after being slapped with a fatwa after “insulting” Big Mo.

But the Revoluters are a kinder, gentler breed of religious nutbag. They went to great pains to tell Cartman and Co. they weren’t REALLY going all jihad on their cartoon asses.

“This is not a threat, but a warning,” a group spokeszealot said. “Revolution Muslim only wants those offended to be able to voice their opposition by letters to the show’s creators.”  Word to Mr. Zealot: This is hardly an effective method since ParkSto probably already get as many irate letters each week as there are grains of sand in a Saudi Prince’s compound.

I’m a bit leery of the “warning” too. It was posted next to a picture of the martyred-for-his-art Van Gogh. But maybe that’s just a cultural misunderstanding between a society that’s sane enough not to put out hits on cartoonists and a society with an itchy fatwa finiger.

Best Friends Forever

Can't we all just have a great big hug?

Here’s the thing, worshipers of Big Mo. There’s a switch on your television that says OFF. I often invite my over-active Christian friends to use it when their bluster gets the better of them. Flip the switch, and through the wonders of modern technology the offending cartoon bear will disappear (Poof, like a Genie in a lamp!) and none of us will be the wiser – except perhaps Mohammad – and we’ll take that up with him personally if it turns out he has no appreciation for cursing and cheap sight gags.

Or you could just go full-on Taliban and toss the TV altogether. It’s rumored that it causes women to dress provocatively and we all know what that means. Boobquakes!

Yes, I can see where insulting your prophet is a bad thing. I can see where insulting Jesus is bad too. But so is insulting atheists, Wiccans, and whatever other religious sub-groups you can potentially offend. Insults are the way of the world. They’re what makes the world go ’round. They’re what gives the world religious crusades and poorly written books about DaVinci and some lame “code” he was always going on about.

Many say Islam is a religion of peace, if by peace we mean not going around threatening to kill over cartoon prophets in bears’ clothing. Have some willpower andself-reststaint.  Staying cool in the face of the insult is a winner, not a loser.

If you want to complain, be my guest, I’ll even help you draft a petition if that’ll help. After all, you already scared Comedy Central into censoring the episode – which is sound thinking if they want to be around to watch endless reruns of Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire.

I have to believe that prophets aren’t so weak they require the help of asscakes who want to kill at the drop of an artist’s pen. I’m an atheist and even I can see that.

Sigh…

Related articles by Zemanta

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]