Monthly Archives: February 2010

Teabaggers: Time for Boo-Frickin’-Hoo Tea


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
AMERICAN TEA PARTY - The baggers are quite miffed that Captain America is portraying them using their own signs verbatim. Their complaint only fans the flames of nut jobbery.

AMERICAN TEA PARTY - The baggers are quite miffed that Captain America portrays them using their own slogans verbatim. Their complaint only fans the flames of nut jobbery.

It’s time for teabaggers to sit down and relax over a nice cup of Boo-Frickin’-Hoo tea. Baggers are upset over a recent edition of Marvel‘s Captain America comic showing protesting baggers holding signs like, “Stop the Socialists!” and “Tea Bag the Libs Before They Tea Bag You.”

The baggers seem oblivious to the irony of being labeled hot-headed nut-jobs while holding signs almost identical to those in the comic and inviting actual hot-headed nut-jobs to speak at their meetings and conventions.

Here’s the bottom line. Several recent media stories advance the premise that rank and file tea drinkers are much less crazy than their public persona suggests. That’s true. Even in the legions of Republicans and Democrats there are good, decent, common folk who mean well and have the best interests of the country at heart too – regardless of whether you believe them.

Teabaggers are no different. Surely, some members think the fringists are nut-jobs too. However, they shouldn’t howl about being protrayed negatively when their organization cozies up to the nutjobs and does far more to put them in the forefront than those a tad less fanatical.

Now there’s no problem if baggers want to hold up inflammatory signs, it’s their constitutional right. It’s equally true that Marvel comics may call the teasters hot-headed nut-jobs and still be in the right too. Call Obama a socialist? Go ahead, I wouldn’t stop you if I could. One doesn’t have to be polite or agree with constitutionally protected speech. But, common sense should tell you that if you stand between two people holding “Where’s the birth certificate?!” and “Obama is a muslin” (sic) signs others might mistake you for a fellow traveler. Apologies need not be demanded if that happens.

SIGN OF THE TIMES - Young bagster models sign for the new Captain America strip. Yeah, no correlation between fact and fiction here.

SIGN OF THE TIMES - You can't blame Marvel Comics for mistaking reality for fiction.

If the tea party movement wants to attract level-headed, but passionate, supporters to their cause, they’d do better to get speakers other than Sarah Palin or Tom Tancredo to address their rallies. Their speeches do more to form the public’s opinion of teabaggers as an addle-brained gaggle of malcontents than the numbskulls toting misspelled, insulting, and patently untrue signs. (BTW, this is true for the opposite side of the political spectrum as well, so liberals, don’t be jolly jesters about how dumb the baggers are until you purge your own nutcases.)

People are going to say insulting things, especially in politics. It’s a little disingenuous to call foul when you’re doing the same thing to your own opponents they’re doing to you. After all, it doesn’t matter that a person’s impression is bad, good, or indifferent. It only matters that they have it. The birthers, tea-baggers, liberals,conservatives, Birchers, democans, republicrats, Wobblies, and Orly Tatz should all remember something:

If the worst calamity your movement experiences is an unflattering drawing in a kid’s comic book or being called a Muslim Communist, call it a good day, consider yourself lucky, and let it go.

The heartburn just ain’t worth the trouble.

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Randomness: God Stuff Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
A NIGHT TO LAST FOREVER - And I though my 1973 electric blue, crushed velvet tux was something special.

A NIGHT TO LAST FOREVER - And I though my 1973 electric blue, crushed velvet tux was something special.

God Stuff

Proof  Capitalists Don’t Know What the Hell They’re Doing

  • Makers said there was even a dutch oven cooking method involving diners putting the pouches in their anal cavities.
  • Somehow, this commercial doesn’t make me want to go out and have someone jab me a zillion times with a sharp-ass needle.
  • I wonder if you could take this off your taxes?
  • I’m thinking these won’t sell well in the projects where they have ample supplies of rats anyway.
  • It’s the perfect gift for that special someone who has all the perception of your average tree stump.
  • A Right to Life group unveils “proof” that God wants you to carry your unborn child by tying him to your vagina with yarn.

Crime Waves of the Moronic

There Are a Billion Stories on the Naked Internet…These are Only 14 of Them

Robot: From the Czech Word Robata

  • Sure, it’s a bit crude, but if it gets you the tickets, “what the hell?”
  • We may not being going to the moon, but by God, Rosie the Robot is within our grasp!
  • If these are the visions of the future I don’t want to go on. I already got burned by that whole Jetson’s flying car thing.
  • The robot firefighter was a good idea except for the materials they used to make it.

The Jiggly Bits

  • As soon as David Vitter heard the news, he immediately reacted by saying, “What’s up with this ban? Former bestiality practitioners will immediately join NAMBLA and start abusing the youngsters of America.”
  • It’s a great Valentine Day promotion, but act now – reservations are going fast.
  • Fer god sakes Melvin, get your mind out of the gutter table saw. Not Safe For Work
  • Patrick Swazye returns from the grave to film this unique sequel to his hit movie, Ghost.
  • “Oh, I say. Could you pul-eeze keep the noise down just a smidge. It is interfering with my science project.”

Made in Japan

  • Audiences loved the machines until they found out they were all props from the Broadway play Starlight Express.
  • Taxi! Taxi!

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Randomness: Whatchoo Gonna Do Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
DEEP THOUGHTS - Who knew that Iron Mike was such a deep and soulful thinker?

DEEP THOUGHTS - Who knew that Iron Mike was such a deep and soulful thinker?

Well, Whadda Ya Gonna Do?

When Randomness Attacks!

And Some People Put Their Faith in the Private Sector

The Naughty Bits

Criminal Jugheads on Parades

They’re Clever, They Just Have Problems Making Brakes

Make It So Mr. Data

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Pagans, Wiccans, and Druids…Oh My!


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
RELIGIOUS TOLERANCE? - Many Christians are mightily agrieved when their rights to practice religion as they see fit is questioned. From the looks of the Air Force Academy's newly installed "earth-centered religious prayer circle" some of them missed Sunday school when they covered "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

RELIGIOUS TOLERANCE? - Many Christians are mightily agrieved when their right to practice religion as they see fit is questioned. From the looks of the Air Force Academy's newly installed "earth-centered religious prayer circle" some of them missed Sunday school when they covered "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

Self Disclosure: I am an atheist and neither condemn nor support the Air Force Academy‘s action. I just find it interesting.

The  Air Force Academy recently provided a worship area for Pagans, Wiccans, Druids, and other Earth-centered religions and the event passed surprisingly quietly given the religious culture wars of our times. Atheists didn’t denounce it as a dagger to the heart of separation of church and state. Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly didn’t say that allowing Druids to celebrate evergreens was an assault on Christmas. Heck, even Pat Robertson hasn’t claimed blizzards in Colorado Springs are a punishment from God…yet.

Still, there’s always one in the crowd.

Robert Jeffress, pastor of Dallas’ First Baptist Church,  said, “to construct an outdoor space for the worship of pagan deities is an open invitation for God to send His harshest judgments against our nation.”

Jeffress’s main beef seems to be that the alternative worship area is a clear and present danger to “our nation” because it promotes idolatry.

“God has judged idolatry in the past through military invasions, earthquakes, a flood, and a mixture of fire and brimstone,” Jeffress warns. I partially agree. Different beliefs in different Gods has been a major burr in humanity’s backside for eons. Jeffress goes on, “The book of Revelation prophesies that God will employ the same agents of His wrath during the final seven years of earth’s history. There is no reason to think God is on hiatus during this present age.”

He’s quite right that the first commandment from (his Christian) God is, “You shall have no other gods before Me.” But, the Pastor’s biblical references may have more holes that the theory of Creationism.

Using biblical quotes to support his argument is about as useful to people who don’t believe the bible as saying “thou shalt not sin because the phone book says so.” Whether he thinks so or not, many people deeply believe there are other Gods, no Gods, or just don’t care about it one way or another and would appreciate it if he not diss their beliefs just as others shalt not diss his.

Jeffress argues the Constitution says nothing about all religions being treated equally, but notions of equality have been benchmarks of the courts’ interpretations in recent history (not withstanding his citing of judicial opinions from the early 1800s). His contention is that if the Bible says it and the Constitution doesn’t, then the Academy is under no obligation to provide a place of worship. He’d be right, although others might argue they don’t have to provide a Christian church either and if the Constitution isn’t about fostering equality, what is it about?

Although Jeffress denounced Pat Robertson’s claim that the Haitian earthquake was God’s punishment for alleged voodoo incidents in their past, he changes logical horses in mid-stream to believe, “…without hesitation that any nation that officially embraces idolatry is openly inviting God’s wrath.”

Ow! Mental whiplash!

The well-meaning Jeffress seems to fear another terrorist attack and advises, “this would be a good time to seek God’s protection rather than kindle His anger.”

So, does that mean Jeffress will refuse the protection of a Pagan Air Force Academy-trained pilot fighting off a terrorist attack because the pilot had angered Jeffress’s God?

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Don’t Ask, Tell: Repeal DADT


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
FORCED MARCH - Finally, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' advocates are being dragged, screaming and kicking, off their cavalry ponies and into the 21st century. The American public deserves a medal for putting up with this lunacy for 16 years

FORCED MARCH - Finally, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' advocates are being dragged, screaming and kicking, off their cavalry ponies and into the 21st century. The American public deserves a medal for putting up with this lunacy for 16 years.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has suggested there’s no time to debate the end of the military’s discrimination against gays because of the national backdrop of economic crisis, duo-war, and unemployment.

Curiously, I’ve never heard him complain about Congressional proposals to legislate a college sports playoff system or delaying confirmation hearings for important executive branch appointees. He didn’t appear to be pressed enough for time to forgo holidays and recess periods. Hell, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear Mitch was talking through his (ass)hat.

Yet, he’s right in one respect, we could save a lot of time… by repealing DADT now. Because of Bill Clinton’s jelly-like backbone and former Sen. Sam Nunn’s intransigence, we created the most cockamamie, stick your head in the sand abortion of a policy imaginable 16 years ago.

The premise of DADT is laughable. Essentially, the homophobes pretend there are no gays in the military while gay people in the military pretend they aren’t gay. The most common argument for this is that unit cohesion and morale would be hurt by anyone a little light in the combat boots.

What a load of crap!

gaybombGay soldiers have existed since armies first went on the march and pretending they aren’t there is self-delusional. Some homophobes argue they are afraid gays would spy on them in the shower. But only if gay soldiers said, “Hi, I’m Bruce, I’m gay, and I’m here to fantasize over your rock hard hunk of burning manhood,” first. My suspicion in these cases is that the worriers probably have a honkin’ set of man-boobs and don’t go near the showers anyway. In other words, they’re poor candidates for ogledom.

As for the unit cohesion angle, I’d suggest that soldiers who didn’t follow orders are piss poor soldiers you want to weed out anyway. An army that would allow the perceived threat of gay solders to destroy unit cohesion isn’t an army – it is a heavily armed street gang.

The US military has been through these “wrenching” changes before. Truman’s desegregation of the military was supposed to have been the ruination of our defense, yet entire units of the military didn’t fall apart over it then and don’t now. To be sure, there will be the occasional asswipe cracker-under-arms who won’t like his superior’s decisions. But, I suspect a superior officer who unnecessarily and recklessly leads his troops into a firefight wouldn’t be the belle of the ball either. The unifying principles for soldiers here is that you do as you’re ordered to the best of your ability, whether it be charging a machine gun or sharing a tent with a gay soldier.

I’m glad the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff supports striking the law down. I’m glad The Messiah has remembered his promises and gotten surgery to strengthen his spine after first swimming like a jellyfish from the debate last year. I’m glad there is growing Congressional support for tossing this inane law. But, I’m dismayed there are still Congressmen willing to argue about something that should be a no-brainer – and as a nod to Mitch’s fear of too much time being spent in debate – with a simple voice vote to which there would be no credible dissenting howls. After all, many of these people put great store in the word of commanders on the ground during the wars of Czar Chimpster the Second. Admiral Mullen’s boots on the ground should be listened to now.

Now if some brave soul, like President Care Bear or even Mitch himself, would stand up and say, “You know, gay marriage causes no direct harm to anyone, so what the hell, let’s stop posturing,” there’d be no reason to waste so much time on debating it.

Especially in the face of economic crisis, war, unemployment, and college playoff systems.

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