My employer describes itself as “the most loved…”. Now, I like my company. I’d like to think people find us somewhat useful.

But loved?

Isn’t that a tad hyperbolic? Sort of, “Drink Miller beer and the Swedish Bikini Team will indulge your wildest fantasies…even the one with the peanut butter and feather duster!”

So that’s why they call it Miller High Life.

I love my daughter. I love my wife. I even love my dog, but I can’t think of a single product or service I love.  I’m usually satisfied if products deliver 50% of what they promise – in a tangible way – not in the way an overwrought ad writer promises things. I suppose this says as much about me as the companies and products I use, but it’s a fact of modern life:

You only have to suck marginally less than your competitors to seem outstanding.

My last company wanted to “delight” their customers. It was a credit card company. I ask you, have you ever been the slightest bit delighted about anything a credit card company has done?

I don’t recall getting a bill and thinking, “Dang, I’m just tickled pink to hock the watch I just bought with their credit card so I can pay their 22% interest this month!” I’ve never thought, “Hmm, if I take this little plastic card into the shower and use it to whip up some serious Herbal Essence shampoo suds, I’ll have a frickin’ orgasm just like the woman on TV does.”

“How delightful!”

I’m only mildly annoyed at what I call “No Shit” ads. For example, running a TV ad to tell your customers that you’ve changed the design of your packaging – usually by playing around with the fonts on the detergent box.

Or, running a TV ad to tell customers to see your ad in a print publication. I’m thinking if your product is so complex it needs a four-page spread in Marie Claire to explain it, additional advertising is the least of your worries.

Big Pharma ads are really stumpers. Several of them run ads that never mention the disease it will cure so miraculously. If I knew enough about the drug to know what it was for, wouldn’t I already have considered it?

I know it’s required by law, but hearing 28-seconds of a 30-second ad taken up by descriptions of side-effects – almost all less pleasant than the underlying disease – doesn’t engender a buying response in me.

BTW, what’s up with the anti-jiggly leg drug causing gambling addiction or pills so dangerous that “women, especially those expecting” can’t even touch them for fear of turning into toxic waste pits with boobs?

But my all time favorite hard sell is the suddenly jumbo-sized box that visually implies more, but that actually contains less than the older, smaller box.

You know what they say, “Contents may have settled during shipping advertising.”

Related articles

• Example Of a Great Viral Video Commercial (blonde2dot0.com)
• Ameriquest: Don’t Judge Too Quickly Virals? (viralblog.com)

Share/Bookmark