The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

I’d guess Afghanistan isn’t a hot bed of blogging activity, but that didn’t stop my first Kabulian visitor from Googling “how to know incompetent” and making his way to The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks.I have no idea what type of incompetence he was looking for. He could’ve been looking for incompetent bloggers - which may explain why my blog was the No. 1 search result. Maybe he was looking for stupid boss stories or perhaps people who burned down their houses with a toaster and a Pop Tart. It so happens he reached a post about the incompetence of ex-McCainista Carly Fiorina shortly before she “disappeared” from the McThusela campaign. Her crime? Saying the ornery old bastard was unqualified for the Presidency. She may be incompetent, but she IS right about His Feebleness.

Inept, Gucci-wearing ex-CEOs
I often blog about incompetence because it’s distressingly common today. We increasingly live in a world where incompetence is not only the norm, but rewarding. For example, a long line of inept, Gucci-wearing ex-CEOs are beating a path up Capitol Hill this week to explain why they, the Titans of the Investment Age, are dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to managing money. When they walk out of the hearing room, they’ll jump aboard their 117 ft. Hummermobiles fueled by burning $20s and the sweat from Albanian virgins.

Because this question came from Afghanistan I think it’s particularly poignant. His country is in shambles. A corrupt and barbarous regime was routed in favor of a corrupt and inept regime who can’t rout the previous regime. In all likelihood, his life is in danger every time he leaves home. His city is filled with soldiers armed to the teeth searching for terrorists similarly armed to the teeth for death and mayhem with no strings attached. Kabul is a case study in what happens when generations of imbeciles run a country. Unfortunately, it looks more like Washington every day.

I used to be one of the lucky few who were born American. I lived in a country that people loved and respected. I took pride in the fact that we knew how to do so much while other countries could do so little. But America has changed. We’ve become the search result Third World residents rely on to find out how to know incompetence when they see it.

The Theory of Unintelligent Design
I can definitely say I know incompetence when I see it. It’s there in every word George Walker Bush has ever uttered. It’s oozes from every pore on John McCain’s cancer-ridden face. The Hockey Mom wears her incompetence on her sleeve and The Big Dick^TM wears his like a badge of honor. We’ve come to a place where people who can’t tie their shoes are virtuous, patriotic, Main Street mavericks and those who can are traitorous, over-educated elitists.

The incompetence of this nation has finally reached critical mass. Competent people have begun hiding to stay safe from cat-called cheers of “kill him” while the Hockey Mom winks at the rubes. The competent few are refugees from a land where they used to proudly live and they are becoming extinct. They’ve validated what was once thought - before the rise of the Idiocracy - to be a crackpot theory. And that theory has a name.

It’s the Theory of Unintelligent Design.

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!

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