The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

John McCain jaws a lot about being a POW and most people believe he behaved admirably in a horrific situation. Whether you believe - as Karl Rove apparently does - that he can’t get his email because of his POW injuries (tell that to physically-mangled computer-user Stephen Frickin’ Hawking you moron) or you think, “good job on the prisoner thing, but I’m not buying it as a Presidential qualification”, he’s still just a candidate with no real power to do anything. However, the current Commander Crapulent can’t claim the same. No matter how strongly his retired crappie fisherman career beckons, he’s still on the hook to govern for a few more months.

George hasn’t been stumbling across the political stage much recently. He’s kept himself busy with stealth fund-raisers - out of sight and out of the RNC’s mind. True, in the wake of Ike he showed up for a mercifully short photo op in which he handed out zero “heckuva job” gold stars and displayed his usual even-handed governance by shafting Louisiana while pouring relief dollars on Texas like an ice storm. Cadaver Chertoff’s FEMA boys are helping out too - by refusing to send the much-needed ice to the disaster area. This administration is, if nothing else, shockingly consistent in it’s ineptitude.

But disastrous disaster-relief wasn’t his only disappearing act. As the economy tanked, he sent out his shills to tell everyone to chill. The minions confirmed the economy was as fundamentally sound as it’s been since the economically-challenged spit-wad took office. Then, George showed his firm grasp of the rapidly deteriorating situation by canceling a fund-raising trip to stay home and play checkers on the South Portico porch. He brazenly hid out early in the week canceling a personal statement and sending his economic brain-trust to tell everyone that our smoking black hole of an economy was just hitting a rough patch…and to take his heat. By Thursday the situation had become so bad it must’ve threatened his own investments, so he came forward with a “bold plan” that took two minutes to explain. “Here are my econ guys. They’ll tell you what I should do, because quite frankly, I flunked Econ 101 at Yale. I now have to go to lunch. I say good day.”

Now I’d be the first to say that the more Scrooge McBush stays away from the economy the better off we are, but hiding behind his economic advisors’ skirts is inexcusable. Despite his protests to the contrary, he knows the economy isn’t fundamentally sound. In fact, he said as much during his marathon 2-minute speech. No, George Bush is just a pusillanimous little coward. He can’t stand the thought that the American public might tell him to his face what an incompetent little turd he is. The man has an ego the size of Jehovah’s rear end, yet he cowers at the thought that some obsequious, milquetoast reporter from Fox News might nibble at one insignificant corner by tossing a softball his way. “Mr. President! You think this is all Bill Clinton’s fault, don’t you?”

Mr. Don’t Tax and Spend Conservative is leaving office while stiffing the public with a trillion dollar economic buyout, a treasury-sucking war, and a constitution that hangs in threads like a curtain in an abandoned house in Kabul. The man is spineless, shameless, and shitty. He is the perfect trifecta of arrogant failure.

And I say good riddance to bad trash.

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!

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