Walmart Is Hiring Islamic Extremists August 1
East Asshat, AR - Walmart executives were accused today of trying to pressure their workers to vote Republican in the fall. In one meeting, a Walmart executive reportedly said, “I am not telling you how to vote, but if the Democrats win, this bill will pass and you won’t have a vote on whether you want a union.” The implication was that Walmart would make layoffs as a consequence of a democratic win.
In fact, Walmart is already searching for replacement workers. An (actual, no kidding) ad that appeared with this lead story in today’s Huffington Post advertises listings for Walmart jobs and includes an ad for the website muslima.com. In the ad, an attractive Muslim woman smiles for the camera.
Some McCain supporters believe the woman is an Islamofascist Muslim living undercover as a greeter in Walmarts around the country. Some also believe she has ties to the Obama campaign and may, in fact, be a long lost Obama sister who was raised in terrorist camps along the Pakistani border.
The Obama campaign rejected the charge saying, “John McCain is a certified wacko and we’ll not dignify these obviously trumped up charges with a formal response.”
The McCain campaign responded with a series of television ads claiming, “Barak Hussein Osama is a terrorist. His Islamofacist, terrorist sister is lying in wait, with her co-conspirators Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, to destroy this country I love so much. My friends, this is worse than the terrorist fist bump exchanged by Osama and his wife in full view of the country. This is a direct attack on our beloved country and I will not let it stand if you vote for me as President of the United States. By the way, I’m a war hero too.”
The Department of Homeland Security is currently combing through the millions of phone calls captured under the Bush Administration’s expanded spying powers in hopes of finding direct links between Obama and his alleged sister.
“We’re not actually spying and we’d never, ever use any evidence about the alleged sister against Mr. Osama unless, of course, Republicans were close to losing the November elections,” A DHS spokesperson said, “It is clearly the intent of this administration to stay neutral in the nation’s politics except where it is deemed absolutely necessary.”
The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!
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enigma4ever Aug 1
oh boy I bet they are hiring Buddhists too- I better get my resume ready….
Freida Bee Aug 2
Can we be certain this isn’t a ploy by the McCainiacs to lure those asking the greeter to direct them to the head scarf aisle to the detention center/ stock room in the secret Wal-Mart basement?
Freida Bee’s last blog post..“God™ Loves You Just the Way You Are, But Too Much to Let You Stay That Way.” *
fairlane Aug 2
Golly gee willickers, all this time I thought Wal-Mart was one of the last bastions of Democracy, and Freedom in the world, and now they’re hiring Obama’s terrorist sister?
Oh, well, at least I can still rely on Michelle Malkin.
fairlane’s last blog post..Little Workshop of Horrors
Jobs at Sears Apr 18
Walmart is a crazy store… telling your employees how to vote?