The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Good bye … so long … Godspeed. Finally … about time … last one out, turn off the lights. Whatever path you choose - you vapid, pretzel choking sh*theel - remember this: “you won’t always have Poland“.

Both parties now have their presumptive nominees and the primary season from hell turns its attention to the battle royale - McCain v. Obama. Yet, the current White House guy is still there for a couple of months. True, he’s a lame duck, but he’s still dangerous. Being lame makes one malevolent.

It seems there’s a global case of malaise when it comes to Bush. The Europeans still hate him, but they’re too exhausted to work themselves into a lather anymore. Americans - having seen a plethora of cockups, blunders, and bloopers - are just as tired. The war theme, which everyone thought would be the yardstick for just how bad George can screw the pooch, has given way to a sinking economy that veers daily between panic and mere collapse.

the Waterboard Spa at the Gitmo Hilton
We’ve never had a president so inept that massive failure seems commonplace. Yet, George has somehow succeeded. He’s reached the point where the gross stupidity of an attack on Iran is a very real possibility, but the population just sighs and shuffles on. We’re tired of him, sick to death of him really. Even the most hardcore of the hardcore don’t agitate for impeachment any longer. Sure, we’re still for the idea, but most see the reality that it will never happen. We cling to the hope that after he’s gone some country that hates him more than we do will pick him up and trundle him off for an appointment at the Waterboard Spa at the Gitmo Hilton.

When he came to office - and before his numerous failings reached a crescendo - he spoke of being a uniter, not a divider. Given his performance since, one could claim that statement is a delicious oxymoron, but nothing is further from the truth. He’s a uniter all right and a damn good one. He managed to unite most of the world in a visceral distaste of him. He succeeded in uniting the formerly loyal (Great Britain and Australia come to mind) with neo-Pol Pots like Kim Jung Il. He has an almost mystical capacity to soak up hate like a sponge. It is his forte.

Inexplicably, John McCain chooses to campaign on Bush’s horrendous record. Yet even he refuses to be photographed with the man. His one-by-one rejection of Bushonian policies is still evolving in a spectacularly Darwinian testament to his ability to flip and flop. The fallacy of Intelligent Design and Creationism will finally be proved by studying the anthropomorphic march of Walnuts McCain. The evolution took less than eight years, surely a record.

Either Obama or Clinton are strong enough to run against the Lame - Duck -in - Chief - by - Proxy. Either candidate is more than sufficiently gifted to highlight the strong difference between a congenital idiot and a person of normal intelligence.

A World of Exhaustion
Many dems think the long-contested race brought renewed vitality to their party. They speak of the record-breaking qualities of both candidates. However, there’s still a simmering feud over whose records were worth being broken, but those seem more like the last twitches of a party entering a post-Bush world - a world of exhaustion and loathing without the fear.

Nixon may have left the White House one step ahead of the howling rottweilers of justice and Bubba Bill may have swum in the filthy pool of impeachment, but George leaving the White house historically dwarfs both of them. He’s always wanted to change the world and cement his legacy for future generations. A fair person would judge his formidable accomplishments and say his legacy is very safe. He’s united the most desperate of the Earth’s peoples as proof that he may be lame, but still has uniting to do. It’s simply a matter of whether he’s talented enough to march us into more corners for future generations to paint their way out of.

St. Ronald of Reagan has his namesake aircraft carrier and lent his name to an airport that still prefers to be called Washington National. JFK has his street and school names for canonization purposes. Theodore Roosevelt enshrined himself by carving his gigantic mug next to Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson. One could argue that George the Younger should be enshrined in some equally magnificent way - perhaps as an ironic new name for ANWAR. But, a better bet might be lending his name to something more fitting for his position in history.

Perhaps a porta-potty at the Love Canal National Recreational Area?

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!

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