The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Blue Gal, Are You Watching This? - …at which point Blue Gal swoons with delight.

Chocolate Rim Shot - Sweet! H/T to the ever-effervescent Tits McGee.

Let’s Hope His Aim is True - Just think about it, no more arguments over leaving the toilet seat up.

The Nomination Battle Continues - Vote Clinton, she’ll never give up.

That’s Amazing! - It’s no, “So that’s a Gremlin” ad, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Great Thinker - Gee, we never thought of it that way before.

One of My Core Beliefs is… - …never eat anything that tastes back.

Send a Milk Tanker…and Hurry! - It’s a good thing these weren’t the double stuffed kind, it could have been a real tragedy.

Imagine the Possibilities for Tourism - If you look to the right you’ll see that we’re passing the Golden Acres retirement home. Pay no mind to the naked lady, just pay no mind.

Short Fuze - Bill O’Reilly, world’s best coworker.

Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt - Finally, unimpeachable truth that Darwinism lives.

Broke? No Wonder - Still, she can always sell her hair.

From the TMI Files - Artists with skin art.

Oooo, I Want One of Those - They really need to do something about that personal shopper at Nordstrom’s.

Time to Consider Hari Kari - This whole Hello Kitty thing is really out of hand. Really.

Target Demographic - Now what does this say about the typical Fox viewer?

It’s a Masterpiece! - “Let’s fill in this corner with some happy little trees and happy little bodies.”

Run, It’s the Rapture! - If the sky looks like this, just bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.

Make a Left at the Rock That Looks Like a Bear and a Right at the Bear that Looks Like a Rock - It IS possible to be too literal.

Tight Fit - And Americans think their homeless situation is bad.

Louisville Sluggers in Your Belfry - I think they’re trying to tell this dude something.

It’s Tough Out There for a Pimp - Well, tough for robbers anyway.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Pogonophobia* - …*but were afraid to ask.

The EVOO Jihad - Another sign that the McCain campaign will do anything to curry favor with the Dunkin Donut vote.

Hockin’ a Loogie - Just remember, you’re paying extra for this stuff.

That Last Photo Was Crazy - The primary reason you can’t buy Polaroid film anymore.

Lorena Bobbit’s Cousin Lives - So a “mix-up” is what you crazy kids call it these days.

Yeah, But We Still Have the Opposable Thumbs - Now this looks like a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Proof That Some Women Will Sleep With Anybody - This is what’s causing global overpopulation…and it’s pumping water out of the gene pool at the same time.

Photoshop is Dangerous in the Wrong Hands - “Hey! Somebody Photoshopped a hand on my ass!”

Borat He Ain’t - And people think he’s such a sweet, innocent guy.

Now That Just Ain’t Right - Zip it!

Bill Loved His Job Once Upon a Time - OK dude, there’s no reason to rub salt into the wound.

Why Not? Madonna Does It - Surely, that will not be a pretty sight.

An Equal Opportunity Hater - These guys will give Westboro a run for their money.

I’ll Never Drink Again - In fairness to Number 19, the hair isn’t as bad as the tattoo he got the last time he was drunk.

Takin’ Aim - Sure, he called her “Spud Bud”, but is that any worse than calling her “Tater Tosser“?

True Stud Muffin - Some men are so forward in their relationships with women.

You Can Get Anything on Craigslist - I hear moose burgers are just delish.

Baseball Been Berry, Berry Good for Me - Saints pitcher uses a wide stance on the mound.

Don’t Snow Me Bro - “Don’t you shoot that yellow snow“. With apologies to FZ.

Hitchcock Meets Disney - Mary Poppins, huh? Now all my nightmares make perfect sense.

Penis Envy - Agnes thought she’d found the perfect solution for naming her little boy. Sadly, she was mistaken.

Drinks for the Drunken - When your target audience is drunken college kids, you don’t have to spend much on product development and testing.

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!

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