Florida in the Middle Ages May 6
What a backassward place America has become. More than half the people think the world is 10,000 years old and that dinosaurs roamed the Earth with the first humans. The other half can’t find their own country on a map or their own ass with a flashlight for that matter. One of the View ladies thinks the Earth might well be flat and I’m sure a good percentage of Americans believe in unicorns, leprechauns, and hobgoblins. I mean, why not? A Florida teacher was recently accused of wizardry and fired.
The wizardry he performed wasn’t even particularly amazing. There was no flax spun into gold. He wasn’t wearing a cape and pointy hat. There were no sparkling stars coming from a magic wand. Hell, he didn’t even say abra-frickin-cadabra. His wizardry consisted of a rookie slight-of-hand trick making a toothpick disappear. Truth be told, half the kids in Rushe Middle School could probably do the trick better that he, but that doesn’t matter when your mind is firmly stuck in the Middle Ages.
Soon after doing the trick, Jim Piculas got a call from the school’s supervisor of teachers who told him, “Jim, we have a huge issue. You can’t take any more assignments. You need to come in right away.”
In what world does a simple magic trick become a “huge issue”? Half the kids in the supe’s school probably can’t read and this nimrod is busy spending her time on not leaving children behind by way of black magic. I’m surprised the supervisor only fired Piculas. Her mindset suggests a good old fashioned witch ducking or stake-burning school fund-raiser might be more her style.
Sometimes it seems mankind is on a reverse evolutionary path and we’re at the nexus of cavemen playing with Dino and electing George Bush - twice! Each successive generation becomes exponentially stupider and stupider. Today we fire people for wizardry, can it be long until we believe monsters eat the moon each night or fire is a mystical element appearing out of nowhere? Some already believe our Boob-in-Chief is doing a fine job - and since he contributes immeasurably to populating the world with people afraid that a sixth grade teacher will make them disappear faster than an inmate at Gitmo - maybe they’re right.
Piculas is apparently worried that he’ll be unable to get future teaching jobs because his “conviction” on wizardry charges seems tantamount to sexual predation in the eyes of the Supreme Court of Asshats.
Sadly, that’s probably a valid fear.
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MFWIC May 6
Yup ! This story about sums up how “dumb up” this country is getting…
Seems like everyone is pointing a finger these day’s and crying about everything. And! teaching their children to do same.
One of these day’s I’m going to just move up into the mountains like Jeremia Johnson….and say screw you to all these idiots down here.
daveawayfromhome May 7
I viewed this story with a certain amount of relief. As long as Florida does stuff like this, I’m not living in the Stupidest State In The Country. I’m sure that even now, the Texas governor is looking for some way to out-fundementalist them though.
daveawayfromhome’s last blog post..quick note
fairlane May 8
That teacher turned me into a Newt.
I got better…
fairlane’s last blog post..Tarnished metal
Comet Rider May 8
Once we became a soundbite society, we were done for. Stupidity fits so nicely into a soundbite. Understanding does not.
Comet Rider’s last blog post..Floating like a Frozen Clac in Space
Omnipotent Poobah May 8
MFWIC,
I say send the morons to the mountains.
Dave,
I can always count on you as my daily ray of sunshine.
Fairlane,
What did it feel like? Did you sound much like Gingrich?
Comet,
True, but gross stupidity expands to fill a vaccum.
Love Florida Aug 25
Are you telling me the Earth is not flat?That’s a radical assumption. That’s why the US never landed on the moon!
Love Florida’s last blog post..Experience Africa at Busch Gardens