The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

One of the democrats’ long-standing problems is its inability to unite on much of anything. A typical democratic campaign is usually as much about herding various voting blocks into its big Cirque du Soleil-style tent as it is about specific issues. By contrast, the republicans don’t worry about such things because their tent is more of a tarp, stretched over rotten, Luddite-inspired wooden poles.

The democrats are living a dream they’ve coveted for many years - an African-American and a woman as potential presidents. They’re also in the catbird seat when it comes to the election. Their two historic candidates are running against an old white guy who’s been around since God intelligently designed his 10,000-year old world. The republican party is also fighting scandals from every corner and there’s a smoking hole where their Glorious Dear Leader^TM “ruined the GOP brand“.

Surrogates Stir the Pot
Yet, the democrats seem hell-bent on snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Instead of substantive debate, the race has divided everyone into one of two groups - feminists and people of color (regardless of what your color happens to be). The candidates created some of the tension, but their surrogates put the teeth into the fight. First, St. Bill of Hope went around the rubber-chicken circuit portrayed as the first black president and Hillary sat on the fence as Geraldine Ferraro spouted clearly racist drivel. Many people also believe other dirty tricks emanated from her campaign, though there’s been scant proof offered. In the other corner, Barrack has been a little too cozy with a crooked schemer, “borrowed” lines for speeches, and had the great misfortune to attend a church headed by an African American racist who liked to hear himself preach too much.

No doubt women have been screwed - literally and figuratively - for ages. There’s also no doubt that minorities - especially blacks - have gotten the raw end of the deal more often than not. But neither of those facts make voting for a candidate solely on the basis of gender or race a smart idea.

Missing the Straight Talk Express
After years of trying to broaden the horizons of racial minorities and women, both groups are now playing quite handily into the opposition’s hands. Their bickering over who was screwed the most in the past is proving to some moderate and many conservatives that what they’ve always said is true - you have to leave governance to the old white guys because those uppity negroes and bra-burning ball-twisters can’t be trusted to lead. Now I know that’s not true and you know it’s not true, but the easily influenced don’t and there are lots of them. And to make matters worse, the opposition will pick up all the race and gender grenades being tossed around and mount a full-frontal attack that would make Karl Rove blanche.

To my revered friends, both black and female, I humbly suggest you both make nice or you’ll be on the outside looking in next inauguration day. Being a white male, I have no dog in this hunt. I can vote for either candidate without feeling driven to right historical wrongs. There’s nothing wrong with using race or gender as criteria for selecting a candidate, but it’s a damn short-sighted view if that’s your only criterion. It’s even more short-sighted - not to mention more destructive - to deal race or gender cards like a Las Vegas dealer at a corrupt blackjack table. Whatever poor sod wins the election will have to represent all the people, not just females or African Americans. One only need look at our current Puppet-in-Chief to see the danger in not doing so. I hope the campaigns - and more importantly, the voters - can stop squabbling over whose history most urgently needs to be addressed. If not, the next president will be - no surprise here - an old white guy.

And that’s one Straight Talk Express I’d like to miss.

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!

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