The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

I put a lot of stock in my commenters. Most are positive, but I get my share of dissenters too. The positive ones are nice ego strokes, but the negative ones are more important in some ways. I use them to help define what I write and how I write it.

A common complaint from conservative commenters is that I “hate” positions or people and bend my posts accordingly. It’s a valid observation, but I can’t say I hate anyone. I firmly believe that even the looniest crackpot occasionally makes a good point and when they don’t I don’t hate them, I simply disagree with them. When they do, I try to make note of it, but I don’t necessarily fawn over it. At the end of the day, everything I write is a personal opinion that you are welcome to embrace or reject as you see fit.

I’m a Small Scale Pundit
As for bending posts, I don’t deny it. I view myself as a small-scale pundit and that’s what pundits do. I look at the news of the day and interpret it through my own lens. I try to keep the known facts accurate (and correct them if they’re wrong), but unabashedly view them differently than someone of another political bent. Ranting on something, or at someone, isn’t the same as hate, it’s a way to engage people and stimulate debate. Insomuch as I get negative comments, I suppose I’ve done something right. If I pinged someone hard enough to move them to comment, I consider it a good day’s work.

I often emphasize my opinion with hyperbole and sarcasm. There are enough dusty and boring pundits in the world and I don’t feel obliged to add one more to the snoozefest blogroll. As a writer, I learned long ago, that mixing a little entertainment or controversy with the important factual events of the day draws people in and makes them consider those events more readily than they might have otherwise. However, it’s a mistake to think I’m not open to opposing views. I often agree with opposing viewpoints, more so than the hyperbole might suggest. That’s why I usually reply to commenters in a much less hyperbolic way. I’m generally polite and take their comments seriously, even if I am completely opposed. I want them to understand that I didn’t ignore what I didn’t want to see - I simply emphasized some points more than others or chose to disagree. To do otherwise would leave a mushier, less impactful post, and I figure there are plenty of those too.

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Our Nominee for Fed Chairman - If only he was around today, we wouldn’t be in this pickle.

Fist Me Like You Mean It - Yet another demonstration of the type of advertising the FCC will never allow you to see.

Ticky-Tacky Cuisine - Look at it this way, she may be hungry, but she always has minty-fresh breath.

The Idea Was There in Front of Us All Along - How many pickles could a pickle-picker pick, if a pickle-picker could pick pickles?

New! Improved! - An essential thing to pack when attending the Boston Baked Beans and Sauerkraut Festival.

FEMA is Assembling a Fleet As We Speak - Unfortunately, they won’t be buying any helium to go with them.

The Caped Crusader! - She’s no Obama Girl, but she does have her charms.

Why? - There’s always one who pushes the envelope…in the wrong frickin’ direction.

Like an Eagle Soarrrrs - It’s no GEICO caveman, but…

This Is Getting Out of Hand - How Big Brother is this?

A Billion Children Left Behind - I hear the Department of Education has ordered up a few hundred thousands of these.

Vegan Strippers - Bringing new uses to old vegetables.

The Audience Doesn’t Know Who He Is Anyway - It sounds better, much better.

How Charleton Heston Does His Dishes - A little something for that gun nut who has everything.

Yeah, That’s About Right - I hear he lost a bet on the outcome of the trial.

Too Late for Valentine’s Day - …but still destined to be a classic piece of film noir.

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Why do some conservatives consider it a badge of honor to be as uninformed as your average tree stump? Preznit Poster Boy once bragged that he never reads newspapers - probably because there was no second grader to help him read The Pet Goat as a warm up. The Big Dick consistently thinks it’s important to get only one side of any story - the one he’s already decided he’s on. You name the branch of the administration and chances are you’ll find someone who wouldn’t recognize a book if you slammed their fingers in one. Now, SCOTUS justice Clarence “Who Has Put Pubic Hair on My Coke” Thomas has come out foursquare in favor of vacuousness.

Stumping for his new autobiography, My Grandfather’s Son, Clancy brags that he hasn’t asked a question in two years and 142 cases. The last one came on Feb. 26, 2006 in a unanimous death penalty case.

“One thing I’ve demonstrated often in 16 years is you can do this job without asking a single question,” he told the Federalist Society. Instead of an intelligent interrogatory, he prefers to lean back in his comfy leather chair, stare at the ceiling, and occasionally share a laugh or two with Justice Stephen Breyer or Anthony Kennedy, his neighbors on the bench. Paraphrasing an old “know it all” Rumsfeld adage, Clancy seems to know all the knowns, unknowns, and potential knowns or unknowns without asking a single question. He’s a regular frickin’ Nostradumbass, he is.

Incurious Clarence says it’s not that he’s against questions, he just doesn’t ask them. “If I think a question will help me decide a case, then I’ll ask that question. Otherwise, it’s not worth asking because it detracts from my job,” he told CSPAN last year. Clarence, here’s a tip dude. If you went two years and 142 cases and didn’t think of a single question, you’re either dead, full of the milk of Bushonian hubris, or clueless.

I don’t expect much from Clarence, I really don’t. At the risk of being accused of conducting another high-tech lynching, I thought Clarence was dumb as a box of rocks when he wiggled onto the court and he’s only confirmed my suspicions since then. The fact that he happens to be African American has zero to do with it. I’d think a white person with as little intellectual curiosity as him would be just as useful a doorstop. Look at the whitest guys around, Daddy and Baby Doc Bush, for stunningly detailed proof.

Along with all the other actions that have eroded our democracy, attitudes like Clarence’s and Shrub’s are a big part of what put us there. To me, it’s one thing to be smart but ideologically opposed - like John Roberts. It’s another to be smart and dangerously evil - like the Big Dick. It’s quite another if you’re simply too stupid to know just how stupid you are - a category topped by Shrub and Clancy. This is one of those times I just want to scream in rage.

“HEY, YOU! STARING AT THE CEILING! Wake up, participate, and STOP CRIBBING FROM ANTONIN SCALIA’S NOTES!”

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!