The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

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Yesterday was the second anniversary of the Katrina Debacle. The Disaster-in-Chief made his annual photo op pilgrimage to tell the good people of the Gulf Coast how gosh darn lucky they are to live in America and worship him as the one true Emperor of the land. The hysterical laughter and rotten tomatoes to the forehead didn’t seem to detract from the celebration one bit.

All the talk about the Gulf Coast has made it clear we’ve moved past the post-mortem of what happened and straight into the just plain mortem that follows. Bob Edwards carried a fascinating interview yesterday with two reporters from the Wall Street Journal who’ve written a book about the whole affair. Needless to say, it was chock full of dramady, pratfalls, and good old-fashioned bumbling ineptitude - think Letters to Penthouse transformed into Letters to FEMA.

They discussed plenty of interesting nuggets…nuggets of, well, nuggets of about what you’d expect of the Wrecking Crew. But buried in the interview was one item that stuck out. It was a quote that summed up Katrina and every moment of the Bushmaster’s presidency and that quote came, surprisingly, from Michael “Heckuva Job” Brown. He presented this wonderful metaphor to the world when questioned about why things went so horribly wrong and what his part may have been. It goes like this:

“What you have to remember is that I wasn’t a crony - I was a crony of a crony.”

Tech Tags: katrina politics bush brownie omnipotent+poobah

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In what’s becoming an all-too-familiar story, someone in the public eye has been caught - literally - with their pants down. Idaho senator Larry Craig had his very own George Michael moment.

Craig, who is well known for his strong “family values” stances, has gone to great lengths to explain that he’s not now, nor has he ever been, gay. I say bully for him. However as far as I’m concerned, he has no need to “apologize”.

Quite Frankly I Don’t Give a Damn
Unlike him, I couldn’t care less whether he’s gay. I also don’t care if he enjoys his BJs in the public toilet or in the connubial bed, just as long as I don’t have to see him (MY EYES! MY EYES! SWEET JESUS, SWEEP THAT ABOMINATION FROM MY SIGHT!). Although, getting them in the public toilet is sort of icky and you run the chance of asking the wrong person to polish your Idaho - “we grow ‘em bigger” - potato. At least Bill Clinton had the good sense to entertain the saleslady from Monica Lewinsky’s fine cigars, behind closed doors.

But Bill did make the mistake of not fessing up about lying to the Grand Jury. That was against the law and even though I didn’t personally care about his desire to feel the sweet sensation of flesh upon lip, it displayed a shocking lack of decision-making skill. In fact, so shocking that one could make a valid argument it may have caused some doubt about how well he could handle his more important constitutional duties. Either way, he shot himself in the foot and fellow philanderers, like Henry Hyde and Bob Livingstone, nailed him for it.

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The Big Dick Sings His Greatest Hits - Ol’ squinty eyes croons a few of his favorites on his new album.

Now That’s Just Gross - The things people will do in pursuit of sexual satisfaction.

But Not as Gross as This - I always knew Karl Rove was a little weird, but now I know he comes by it honestly. (H/T to Tits McGee)

Anything in a Pinch - President Bush said today that he would fund a complete rebuild of the collapsed Minneapolis bridge, but somehow citizens were expecting something a little more substantial.

Pentagon Introduces New Superweapon - This’ll put them Eye-Raqis on the run!

Duct, Duct, Goose! - As they say, duct tape can do anything.

The More You Rub it, The Shinier it Gets - Didn’t Commander Codpiece wear this thing under his flight suit?

Love Songs for the Lonely - “When you’re all alone and feelin’ bluuuuuuuue…(NSFW, H/T to Tits McGee)

What a Touching Story - Love, loss, anger. This story has it all.

The Special Effects Are Just Amazing! - “Bruce Lee meets Jenna Jameson in a rollicking and steamy erotic masterpiece.” - Jay Cocks, Time Magazine (NSFW)

She’s the Life of the Party - This probably explains why she doesn’t date much though.

Speak Up! - If you can’t say it, you can’t have it.

Pootie-Poot Posin’ - “Ah looked down that man’s pants and ah seed his soul ah tells ya’.” - George Bush, Pootie-Poot Fan

OUT! OUT! DAMN FRUIT! - Sometimes it seems that God just doesn’t give a fig.

WALLS! WALLS! I HAVE WALLS! - A little something for that Les Nessman in all of us.

Tattoo You - e=MC-INK.

Saddam Was a Big Patron of the Arts - One dictator’s totalitarianism statue is another dictator’s Freedom Fighter Memorial.

One Good Tow Deserves Another - We’re including this as a tribute to our very own Merry Sumo.

The Day of the Day - Maybe not as tasty as the Fruit of the Month Club, but still…

Really, I Can Explain! - DNA trips up another scofflaw.

Jam Master Flash - How in the world did she keep from running away screaming, “MY EYES! MY EYES!” ?

God, I’m Praying You Here This - This should be required listening for all residents of the State of Alabama.

I Know I Have a Blade for That Here Somewhere - But where’s the sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their head?

Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda - The perfect summer camp for that little terrorist in the family.

Damn Canadians! - Animal eco-terrorists strike back against mankind. Film at 11.

Tech Tags: randomness humor humour omnipotent+poobah

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