When Artist’s Models Get All Pinocchio – Sure he’s wood, but he’s a real live boy!
Vroom, Vroom – The perfect car for that couch potato who has everything.
Cure for High Blood Pressure – Sure, it’s a drastic treatment – but hey, it works for him.
Boom, Boom, Chicka, Chicka – I’d like to see one of them on the striper pole at the club. Hmm, umm, seeeeeexeeeeee!
Eat Only Eats What He Kills – Somewhere, Ted Nugent is looking at this and smacking his lips.
Play Ball! – Sing along brothers and sisters! It’s your country too!
The Blue Screen of Death – Gerry Ford. James Brown. Bill Gates?
Upchucking a Fortune – Sure it’s vomit, but it’s WHALE vomit!
Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap – It’s better than a kazoo band I suppose.
Mysteries of the Universe Revealed – Some questions just may be best left unanswered.
Penguins Gone Wild – Sure, they dress well, but they’re true party animals.
Proposals Gone Flat – He just wants to shout his love out to the entire world. Buuuut…
The Dick Vinci Code – I smell blockbuster book/movie/TV deal coming on.
But Mom! – Creepy kid time travels for kicks.
Well, That IS a Novel Approach – You’ll never take me coppers. Step back or I’ll sodomize the dog. Do you hear me! Huh? Do you?
Where Would Jesus Hide? – You know, we wouldn’t have this problem if he had the common decency to wear a striped shirt.