The Wheels on the Bus Are Com-ing Off, Com-ing Off…

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The wheels on the bus are com-ing off, com-ing off, com-ing off…the wheels on the bus are com-ing off, ev-er-y day. Maybe we’re just getting older. Maybe we have a touch of pre-Alzheimer’s. Maybe we’re just stuck in a rut. But can anything ELSE go wrong?

We’re bombarded daily with all manner of disaster, ruination, and just plain bad luck. Our politics are a crime ridden landscape where the leaders are either crooked or stupid or both. Groups of home-grown Taliban are trying to drag us screaming and kicking back into the 14th Century. There’s fire, flood, and war on every corner. The price of gasoline is up and the future of the Republic is down. We have to have the window motor in our Omnipotentmobile replaced to the tune of $700.

It seems the detritus of life in the early 21st Century is piling up faster than beer cans at a biker bar. Bad juju has become a powerful force that we can’t seem to overcome or make peace with. If we were religious, it would almost make us start to believe all that hokum about God smiting homos and liberals and flinging lightening bolts at the infidels to show us that we are nearing the end of our days.

Almost. We’re actually on a first name basis with God, Mohamed, and Buddha and they seem just as perplexed as us.

Sure, there are the little nuggets of hope. The Germans have developed a self-ordering beer mat, Paris Hilton seems to be in her 16th minute of fame, and Jessica Alba says she’d do nude scenes if the director and script were just right. But, those things are scant hope for a world facing problems of the magnitude we’ve seen recently.

Remember the days when things happened at a normal, copeable pace? A tragedy every few days or a scandal here and there instead of our now typical Katrina/Rita/crashing jet/tornado-in-Minneapolis kind of day. A person needs a few moments between Hindenburg crashes to catch their breath and ready themselves for the next scream. It’s no longer, “OH, THE HUMANITY!”. It’s “SONUVABITCH! WHAT NEXT?”

So the Poobah has a request. Send us a little good news. Something that will cheer us up. We need an omnipotent laugh, a beatific snicker, a nice piece of apple pie. Anything! We’re begging you. We don’t want to dissolve into a whimpering mass of formerly omnipotent jelly. We want to find something that will help us resist the impulse to smite something as those other, more famous deities, are apt to do.

Please. Make us laugh. We’ll even throw 72 virgins and a river of honey toward you as an incentive.

4 thoughts on “The Wheels on the Bus Are Com-ing Off, Com-ing Off…

  1. Haris,

    Our apologies for offending you. In real life we’re usually pretty accomodating of others’ beliefs, but sometimes in the hyperbolic world of “omnipotentce” we may go too far.

    Your post has reminded us of something we have been thnking about in view of the fact that we routinely make fun of religion in this blog. We’ll be doing a post soon on exactly what it is we feel so that all the readers can get a little more perspective on our true feelings. Hopefully, that will go a long way toward fostering understanding between all the sides in the confusing landscape of religion and spirituality.

    We’re glad you liked the blog otherwise and hope that you’ll drop in again. After all, you are our first visitor from Bosnia Herzegovena

    And finally, you are certainly the most polite complaintant we’ve ever seen. That’s a testament not only to you, but to the core values that your religion teaches. We’re glad to say this is one of those situations that proves that sometimes religion is a good thing.

  2. Chris,

    Danke for stopping by. We’d write our response in German, but our High School memory only goes as far as, “Wie gehts! Was machts du?

    Auf wiedersehn.

  3. Hi. Love the blog, but please cut back on Islam remarks. The last comment the one about the virgins and the river of honey, that is a reward in islam for those that sacrifice their life in the path of God. It is nothing to joke about. I men a little fun is alright and I like to read it but please try to be more sensitive. When you write the name of Prophet Muhammed please add A.S. I dont write the name of the Christian saviour with rude coments or derogatory oppinions, nor the Jewish God, or the Indian deities. I like the jokes about the omnipotence and as I had already mentioned love the blog but please do not make any more unsensitive and ultimetely unecesary and hurtfull coments about Islam. Have a nice day.